I was fending off the desire to smoke earlier, and I realized that just holding on to my friend's abhorrence of how my room would be "in a haze" whenever anyone smokes in here is enough to make me not want to smoke.

And yet I crumbled again as I bought me a stick of the funnies. Funny because why is it that I think I need it when I honestly don't?

-It tastes bad.
-It smells bad.
-It stinks when I breathe after, I just realized.
-Then I get annoyed with myself and the rest of the world after I smoke.

So yeah, it's seriously NOT healthy to smoke. It's seriously NOT healthy for me to even puff. My throat is now stinging a little for the two to three puffs I've had.

Ugh.

I was asking God to forgive me, in the meantime cursing myself for crumbling and believing a lie: smoking would make me feel better, smoking would let me focus more. As I was having the stick when I realized that the reason I was scatterbrained may be that I actually haven't taken my Vitamin B's for today. Go figure.

So yeah, as I was cursing myself, the idea came to me. I'm not sure if it was God or what, but the idea was: "It only has power over you if you let it have power over you."

Okay. So I will not let smoking or my biological need for sex have power over me. Neither should I let my materialistic desires have power over me.

No stick of poison should ever pwn me.

GAAAAAAH.

sama mo na rin yung biological need hard wired into the human loins. pwet ng baso oo.